


No Death For The Perfect Men

by wsswatson



Category: Original Work
Genre: 1970s, Glam Rock, Homophobia, Misogyny, Multi, Music, Musicians, Recreational Drug Use, Rock Stars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 01:59:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7201565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wsswatson/pseuds/wsswatson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A play about the music industry, sexual politics, and bucket loads of glitter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Death For The Perfect Men

**Author's Note:**

> The play begins in 1971 and ends in 1973 and follows the career(s) of the Cosmic Dancers, a fictional glam rock group from East London. Their name is taken from “Cosmic Dancer”, a song from T. Rex’s 1971 album, Electric Warrior. The song performed by the Cosmic Dancers is “Lady Stardust” from David Bowie’s 1972 album, The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars. In the world of the play, the song is by the Cosmic Dancers – David Bowie does not exist in this world, and nor does T. Rex – glam rock is the Cosmic Dancers’ invention.
> 
> This song was selected as it explores a band’s career and its members’ relationships with one another, which are integral to the play, and because of the different implications lyrics such as “people stared at the makeup on his face / laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace” could have when applied to straight men versus gay men, or to men versus women, and because the line “the song went on forever” is fitting for the structure of the play. The song is also reportedly about Marc Bolan, who is credited with the invention of glam rock.
> 
> In ACT IV, this song is combined with David Bowie’s “Velvet Goldmine” (originally titled “He’s A Goldmine”). The song was originally written for The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars, but was ultimately replaced with “Starman”, and was not released until 1975. One of the reasons for this is that although, according to Bowie, it is about the Ziggy Stardust character from the perspective of a groupie, his label, RCA, were concerned that it would be interpreted as being about another man from his own perspective, and that it was too sexually explicit.
> 
> The dialogue contains phrases from the songs of David Bowie and T. Rex. See the notes at the end of the play for a full list of references.
> 
> CHARACTERS
> 
> RICHARD/RACHEL COSMOS, lyricist, vocalist and guitarist  
> MICK/MAGGIE NEBULA, bassist  
> DAVID/DEBBIE STELLAR, pianist  
> PAUL/PATTIE ASTEROID, drummer  
> FRANK FITZROY, music producer and owner of record label Fitzroy Records  
> JOHN, music journalist  
> CYNTHIA, fifteen-year-old groupie  
> STEVEN, twenty-year-old groupie  
> 15 – 20 FANS  
> 3 ROADIES  
> 4 SECURITY GUARDS  
> 4 POLICE OFFICERS  
> BASSIST (ACT V)  
> PIANIST (ACT V)  
> DRUMMER (ACT V)
> 
> If you enjoyed this piece, please consider [leaving a tip](https://ko-fi.com/A5779ZS) \- thank you so much!

**ACT I**

_An office in a record company building. FRANK FITZROY is sitting on one side of the stage in a reclining chair behind a large desk, on top of which is a large stereo. RICHARD, MICK, DAVID and PAUL are sat on a sofa on the other side of the desk, but they are in total darkness – only FRANK and the stereos are lit. FRANK is listening intently to a demo tape playing “Lady Stardust” on the stereo, nodding his head and tapping a pen on the desk and his foot on the floor._

**RICHARD (voiceover):**

People stared at the makeup on his face

Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang his songs

Of darkness and disgrace

And he was alright, the band was altogether

Yes he was alright, the song went on forever

And he was awful nice

Really quite out of sight 

And he sang all night long

Femme fatales emerged from shadows

To watch this creature fair

Boys stood upon their chairs

To make their point of view

I smiled sadly for a love I could not obey

Lady Stardust sang his songs

Of darkness and dismay

And he was alright, the band was altogether

Yes he was alright, the song went on forever

And he was awful nice

Really quite paradise 

And he sang all night long

Oh how I sighed 

When they asked if I knew his name

Oh that was alright, the band was altogether

Yes he was alright, the song went on forever

And he was awful nice

Really quite paradise 

He sang all night long

_The song finishes and FRANK ejects the cassette from the stereo and holds it for a moment, still slowly nodding his head. He looks up at the band. Lights up. He hesitates long enough for the band to think he doesn’t like the song._

**RICHARD:** We’ve got some other stuff we’ve been working on that we haven’t recorded yet if you don’t like what we put on-

 **MICK:** Yeah, that one’s pretty stripped back, we’ve got some more rockist stuff too, without the piano and that-

 **DAVID:** Come again?

 **MICK:** Well we have. Have you got Moonage Daydream on tape Rich?

 **DAVID:** What’s wrong with the piano?

 **PAUL:** There’s nothing wrong with it, is there, Rich?

 **FRANK:** Alright, girls, don’t throw your teddies out the pram.

 **MICK:** Sorry, but look, if you didn’t like it-

 **FRANK:** Didn’t like it? I fucking loved it.

 **RICHARD:** You what?

 **FRANK:** Yeah, give me tonight to write up a contract, come back tomorrow and I’ll sign you.

 **MICK:** Fuck, are you serious?

 **FRANK:** ‘Course I’m serious, this stuff is brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

_The COSMIC DANCERS look at one another again, then jump up, hugging and laughing ecstatically. FRANK laughs too. He takes a cigar out of his pocket and lights it. Lights down._

_A recording studio. Frank’s recorded voice introduces the band:_ ‘The Cosmic Dancers: Lady Stardust.’ _RICHARD, MICK, DAVID and PAUL are each in a separate booth, indicated by dividers on either side of them. The lights come up on each of them in turn as they play an extended intro to “Lady Stardust”, introducing one instrument at a time – piano first, then drums, then bass, and finally guitar. As each instrument is introduced, Frank’s recorded voice introduces each member of the band by name. After Richard has been introduced, they play one more bar, and then he begins to sing. After_ “of darkness and disgrace,” _four MAKEUP ARTISTS and HAIRSTYLISTS approach each of them and style them while they perform the first chorus, then exit. During the next chorus, three ROADIES enter with sequined curtains emblazoned with the words ‘THE COSMIC DANCERS’ which they hang at the back of the stage. They then remove the dividers and exit._

_The lighting is changed to spotlights on each member of the band. FANS run onto the stage from stage left and stage right as the COSMIC DANCERS launch into the second chorus. Young people (mostly girls) flock to the front of the stage, cheering and reaching towards the musicians, especially RICHARD. Near the end of the song, fans begin to climb onstage, hugging the band and kissing their cheeks. The COSMIC DANCERS laugh and continue to play as best they can. The song ends. Lights down._

_SECURITY come on and escort the fans away while others move the microphone stand and bring out five chairs. The band sit down, RICHARD and MICK still holding their instruments while PAUL keeps hold of his drumsticks. SECURITY leave and JOHN sits down on the fifth chair._

_Lights up._

**JOHN:** I’m here with the world’s hottest new group, the Cosmic Dancers! Gents, it’s been pretty quick, your rise to fame, as it were.

 **RICHARD:** Yes.

 **JOHN:** You were signed what, a few months ago?

 **RICHARD:** About seven, was it?

 **MICK:** Something like that.

 **JOHN:** About seven, and now you’re selling out pretty big stadiums here and across Europe and the States, South America, Asia-

 **RICHARD:** Yeah, and we’re doing South Africa next month, then Australia. Dunno what we’re gonna do after that. Maybe Antarctica, play to the fucking polar bears, they’d fucking love it.

 **JOHN:** Being serious for a moment, though, you’ve become extremely popular very quickly. NME ran an article on you last week entitled “The Man Who Owns The World.”

 **MICK:** Yeah, they always give Rich all the fucking credit.

 **JOHN:** Does that bother you?

 **MICK:** Nah, I’m joking.

 **JOHN:** What’s it like, though? It must’ve been quite surprising when you began to really take off.

 **RICHARD:** Not really, no.

 **JOHN:** No?

 **RICHARD:** No, I don’t think so.

_JOHN and the audience laugh. RICHARD smiles and shrugs. He lights a cigarette._

**RICHARD:** Do you think it’s surprising?

 **JOHN:** I don’t know, I think I’d be surprised if I were you.

 **RICHARD:** Do you like our music?

 **JOHN:** Yes, of course, I love it, I was just saying to-

 **RICHARD:** So why should it be surprising that we’ve done fairly well for ourselves?

_The audience cheer. JOHN laughs._

**JOHN:** Do you think that’s enough, then? 

**RICHARD:** Shouldn’t it be?

 **JOHN:** No of course, of course it should, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is, does it?

 **RICHARD:** Doesn’t it? I don’t see why not.

 **JOHN:** Well, most of the groups that – the big rock groups, you know – that we hear on the radio are male, and-

 **RICHARD:** So?

 **JOHN:** Do you think maybe it’s harder for girls to get as big as you have?

 **RICHARD:** Why? If you sound good, you sound good, that’s it. If you’re not seeing girl groups on your telly it’s because there’s no girl groups making good enough music. That’s it. Let’s move on.

_Lights down._

_Enter FRANK. The stage is bare except for the stereo in the centre, illuminated by a spotlight. FRANK approaches the stereo, and presses the rewind button. The sound of a tape being rewound, amplified. FRANK exits._

_Lights down._

**ACT II**

_An office in a record company building. FRANK is sitting on one side of the stage in a reclining chair behind a large desk, on top of which is a large stereo. There is a bright spotlight on Frank and a dimmer spotlight on the stereo. RACHEL, MAGGIE, DEBBIE and PATTIE are sat on a sofa on the other side of the desk. Throughout the scene, soft spotlights travel up and down their bodies, lingering now and again at their hips and breasts. FRANK is listening to a demo tape playing “Lady Stardust” on the stereo, nodding his head and tapping a pen on the desk and his foot on the floor, but he keeps looking back at the Cosmic Dancers._

**RACHEL (voiceover):**

People stared at the makeup on her face

Laughed at her long black hair, her animal grace

The girl in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang her songs

Of darkness and disgrace

And she was alright, the band was altogether

Yes she was alright, the song went on forever

And she was awful nice

Really quite out of sight 

And she sang all night long

Homme fatales emerged from shadows

To watch this creature fair

Girls stood upon their chairs

To make their point of view

I smiled sadly for a love I could not obey

Lady Stardust sang her songs

Of darkness and dismay

And she was alright, the band was altogether

Yes she was alright, the song went on forever

And she was awful nice

Really quite paradise 

And she sang all night long

Oh how I sighed 

When they asked if I knew her name

Oh that was alright, the band was altogether

Yes she was alright, the song went on forever

And she was awful nice

Really quite paradise 

She sang all night long

_The song finishes and FRANK ejects the cassette from the stereo and holds it for a moment, still slowly nodding his head. He looks up at the band. Lights up. He hesitates long enough for the band to think he doesn’t like the song._

**RACHEL:** We’ve got some other stuff we’ve been working on that we haven’t recorded yet if you don’t like what we put on-

 **MAGGIE:** Yeah, that one’s pretty stripped back, we’ve got some more rockist stuff too, without the piano and that-

 **DEBBIE:** Come again?

 **MAGGIE:** Well we have. Have you got Moonage Daydream on tape Rach?

 **DEBBIE:** What’s wrong with the piano?

 **PATTIE:** There’s nothing wrong with it, is there, Rach?

 **FRANK:** Alright, girlies, don’t throw your teddies out the pram.

 **MAGGIE:** Sorry, but look, if you didn’t like it-

 **FRANK:** Didn’t like it? I fucking loved it.

 **RACHEL:** You what?

 **FRANK:** Yeah, give me tonight to write up a contract, come back tomorrow and I’ll sign you.

 **MAGGIE:** Fuck, are you serious?

 **FRANK:** ‘Course I’m serious, you girls are brilliant. Fucking brilliant.

_The COSMIC DANCERS look at one another again, then jump up, hugging and laughing ecstatically. FRANK watches them._

**FRANK:** Oh, there’s just one thing. Come here a second, Rachel.

_The COSMIC DANCERS break away from one another and RACHEL approaches Frank. She is wearing a knee-length skirt over a zip-up leotard. FRANK looks her up and down for a moment, then unzips her leotard, revealing her cleavage, then quickly goes behind her, pulling her skirt down to her ankles. RACHEL gasps and moves away from him, almost tripping over her skirt._

**RACHEL:** What the fuck are you doing?

 **FRANK:** Turning you into a star. See you tomorrow, girls.

_FRANK exits, smiling to himself. RACHEL turns to look at the rest of the COSMIC DANCERS, who still look shocked. After a moment, MAGGIE shrugs with resignation. RACHEL looks down at her skirt, then kicks it away. Lights down._

_A recording studio. Frank’s recorded voice introduces the band:_ ‘The Cosmic Dancers: Lady Stardust.’ _RACHEL, MAGGIE, DEBBIE and PATTIE are each in a separate booth indicated by dividers on either side of them. They are all dressed in zipped down leotards like Rachel’s. The lights come up on each of them in turn as they play an extended intro to “Lady Stardust”, introducing one instrument at a time – piano first, then drums, then bass, and finally guitar. As each instrument is introduced, Frank’s recorded voice introduces each member of the band by name. After Rachel has been introduced, they play one more bar, and then she begins to sing. After_ “of darkness and disgrace,” _RACHEL leaves her booth and exits while MAGGIE, DEBBIE and PATTIE continue to play their instrumentals on loop. RACHEL returns with her arms full of makeup and hairspray and approaches PATTIE, who stops playing while DEBBIE and MAGGIE continue. RACHEL picks up one of Pattie’s cymbals and holds it up as a mirror while PATTIE hurriedly applies her makeup and styles her hair. When she’s done, she takes the cymbal back from RACHEL, who returns her booth and joins MAGGIE and DEBBIE in their loop with her guitar. PATTIE carries the make-up to DEBBIE’s piano and arranges it there, then returns to her booth, collects the cymbal and goes back to DEBBIE, who stops playing, and holds the cymbal up for her while she applies her makeup and styles her hair. Meanwhile, RACHEL sings the chorus without the drum and piano accompaniment. At the end of the chorus, PATTIE approaches MAGGIE and nods towards DEBBIE. MAGGIE stops playing and she and PATTIE go back to DEBBIE. PATTIE holds up the cymbal while DEBBIE stands up and MAGGIE sits down at the piano, applies her makeup and styles her hair. Meanwhile, DEBBIE exits and returns with sequined curtains emblazoned with the words ‘_ THE COSMIC DANCERS _’ in large letters in her arms, which she hangs at the back of the stage, while RACHEL continues alone as far as “_ of darkness and dismay _,” completely unaccompanied. As she goes into the second chorus, MAGGIE approaches her with makeup and DEBBIE approaches her with hairspray. They apply her makeup and style her hair together, then throw the makeup and hairspray offstage while RACHEL plays a guitar solo. DEBBIE places the cymbal back on her drum kit. MAGGIE, DEBBIE and PATTIE remove the dividers while RACHEL continues to play, then return to their instruments as RACHEL sings_ “oh how I sighed when they asked if I knew her name”.

_The lighting is changed to spotlights on each member of the band. FANS run onto the stage from stage left and stage right as the COSMIC DANCERS launch into the final chorus. Most of the fans are supportive and cheer and scream, but one MALE FAN at the front shouts louder than the rest of them:_

**MALE FAN:** Get your tits out!

 **MAGGIE:** Fuck you!

 **MALE FAN:** If you like!

_RACHEL stops playing and approaches the MALE FAN, lifting her guitar as if to hit him. The MALE FAN cowers. A SECURITY GUARD steps between them._

**PATTIE:** Rach, leave it.

_RACHEL reluctantly returns to her place, still glaring at the fan, in time to play one more bar before the song ends._

_The COSMIC DANCERS exit and return with a chair each. The SECURITY GUARD herds the fans away, then lifts a fifth chair onto the stage. The COSMIC DANCERS sit down, RACHEL and MAGGIE still holding their instruments while PATTIE keeps hold of her his drumsticks. JOHN enters and sits down in the fifth chair. Full lights up._

**JOHN:** I’m here with the world’s hottest new girl group, the Cosmic Dancers! Rachel, you recently called yourself “the queen of rock” in Melody Maker.

 **RACHEL:** I did, yeah.

 **JOHN:** That’s a pretty bold statement.

 **RACHEL:** Is it?

 **JOHN:** Well, yes.

 **RACHEL:** Why? Men call themselves kings, princes, all that shit, all the time.

 **JOHN:** But you’ve got to follow through now, haven’t you?

 **RACHEL:** I can and I will. We’re gonna be the biggest fucking group in the world.

 **JOHN:** You sound very sure of yourself.

 **PATTIE:** Look, if she says she can do it, then she can do it. She don’t make false claims.

_JOHN laughs._

**JOHN:** We’ll move on then, shall we?

 **MAGGIE:** I think we’d fucking better.

 **JOHN:** Maggie, people are calling you the next Bardot.

 **MAGGIE:** Me? Why? I can’t act to save my fucking life.

 **PATTIE:** You should see her playing charades.

 **DEBBIE:** You should, it’s fucking dreadful.

 **JOHN:** I suppose they mean your looks.

 **MAGGIE:** Yeah, well, who fucking cares about that.

_JOHN laughs._

**JOHN:** Don’t you care about that?

 **MAGGIE:** Not really. Why should I? I’m a bassist, not a fucking supermodel.

 **JOHN:** Oh, come on, it’s a compliment.

 **MAGGIE:** I don’t want that kind of compliment. I’m sorry, I don’t. Can you fucking imagine an article about the fucking Beatles that didn’t say shit about Paul McCartney’s bass, it just called him the next, I don’t know, the next fucking Marlon Brando?

 **JOHN:** Alright, alright, don’t get your knickers in a twist.

 **RACHEL:** Hey, don’t fucking talk to her like that. You wouldn’t talk to Paul McCartney like that, would you? Fucking unprofessional.

 **JOHN:** I’m sorry, I just-

 **RACHEL:** Nah, I think we’ve heard enough. We’re done here. Off you go.

 **JOHN:** But-

 **RACHEL:** I said fuck off.

_JOHN hesitates, then gets up and leaves, laughing and shaking his head. Lights down._

_Lights up. The COSMIC DANCERS are rehearsing in their studio. RACHEL gets to the first_ “the song went on forever” _then knocks the microphone stand over. The feedback makes MAGGIE, DEBBIE and PATTIE wince. They stop playing._

 **MAGGIE:** You alright?

 **RACHEL:** No, I’m not fucking alright. When I wrote ‘the song went on forever’ I didn’t mean it fucking literally. I’m sick of rehearsing the same shit over and over again as if we don’t already know it better than we know our fucking mothers. I want to do something new, for fuck’s sake. Frank said we could do another album and he still hasn’t signed the fucking paperwork. What’s taking him so fucking long? It’s fucking money in the pocket for him, isn’t it? And don’t tell me you’re not all sick of it too, you fucking must be.

 **DEBBIE:** I’ve got ideas I wanna work on.

 **RACHEL:** Exactly, so have I, I hope we fucking all have. Where the fuck is Frank, anyway?

 **PATTIE:** He’s here, I saw him in the kitchen ten minutes ago.

 **RACHEL:** What’s he doing in the fucking kitchen? Someone go and fucking get him.

 **MAGGIE:** You can get him.

 **PATTIE:** I’ll get him.

_PATTIE gets up, puts her drumsticks down and exits._

**RACHEL:** Thank you, Pattie. At least someone’s fucking useful around here.

_RACHEL glares at Maggie and Debbie._

**MAGGIE:** It’s not my fucking fault we don’t have a new record deal, or Debbie’s. She just fucking told you she wants to write more music. She’s the only one of us who’s only in it for the fucking music, she doesn’t give a shit about being a rock star and all of the shit that goes along with that so don’t fucking take it out on her because we’re not as big as we want to be.

_MAGGIE takes off her bass and drops it on the ground. RACHEL clenches her jaw, then takes a cigarette and lighter out of her jeans and puts the cigarette in her mouth and lights it. She puts the lighter back in her pocket and takes a drag._

**RACHEL:** Sorry, Debbie.

 **DEBBIE:** It’s alright.

 **RACHEL:** And you, Maggie.

 **MAGGIE:** Yeah, well, I can’t say I don’t get it. I’m sick of it too. Here, pass us your fag.

_MAGGIE and RACHEL meet in the middle of the stage. RACHEL takes one more drag of the cigarette, then hands it to MAGGIE. PATTIE enters with FRANK._

**RACHEL:** Fucking finally. Frank, I-

 **FRANK:** Just a moment, Rachel. Girls, sit down.

 **RACHEL:** “Girls,” I’m fucking sick of everyone calling us girls, we’re twenty fucking three.

 **FRANK:** Right, see that there’s what I need to talk to you all about.

 **RACHEL:** What are you on about?

 **FRANK:** Sit down.

_RACHEL hesitates for a moment, then sits down in one of the chairs at the edge of the room. MAGGIE, DEBBIE and      PATTIE do the same. FRANK picks up one of the chairs and moves it in front of theirs’, straddling it and leaning against the back._

**FRANK:** Alright, now, I know what you want to see me about. It’s about the record deal, isn’t it? The thing is, I have to be honest with you, I just don’t know if it’s doable.

 **RACHEL:** You what?

 **FRANK:** It’s just-

 **RACHEL:** Are you fucking joking? You’re a fucking record producer, we’re the biggest group on your fucking label and you don’t know if cutting another record is fucking doable?

 **FRANK:** Listen, you know I love your stuff, it’s fucking brilliant, you know that / but it’s not just about that.

 **RACHEL:** Yeah, I fucking do. / What’s it fucking about then?

 **FRANK:** It’s about this, your attitude. It’s awful, Rachel, it’s dreadful. People just don’t like you.

 **RACHEL:** I don’t give a fuck if people like me.

 **FRANK:** That was a plural ‘you’.

 **RACHEL:** You’ve got to be joking. You’ve been to our gigs, people fucking love us.

 **FRANK:** Well, some people, yes, but what about the music press? I haven’t read a single good review since early ’71, and that was when nobody had any idea who you were. You’re rude, Rachel, you’re obnoxious, you’re abrasive-

 **RACHEL:** Yeah, well, I’d like to see you being fucking civil when you’ve got a man twice your age staring at your fucking tits and pretending he gives a shit about your music.

 **FRANK:** Look, nobody said this job was going to be easy, but it is your job, Rachel, and you’re the most unprofessional star I’ve ever had the displeasure of working with.

 **PATTIE:** Unprofessional, are you fucking serious?

 **DEBBIE:** Rachel’s always working, constantly, even when we’re off our fucking heads she’s talking about the band, what we’re gonna do next, where we’re gonna go, it’s her fucking life.

 **MAGGIE:** She works harder than you fucking do.

 **FRANK:** Listen, my job is to sell records and you’re good, you know you’re good, but I’m sorry, I don’t want Fitzroy Records becoming fucking Cosmic Dancer Records. I have to be honest with you, you’re ruining my reputation. People won’t fucking sign with me. I produced the biggest girl band to come out of London-

 **RACHEL.** Biggest _band_.

 **FRANK:** Well, alright, yes, biggest band, and nobody wants to fucking sign with me. I’m sorry, but I’m not tossing my career away for a bunch of egotistical bitches.

_RACHEL stands up._

**RACHEL:** A bunch of what? What did you fucking call us?

 **FRANK:** You heard me. You’re on your own. Learn some fucking manners and maybe one day you’ll get to cut another record again. Not with me, though. I’m done.

_FRANK stands up, knocking his chair over in the process, and exits._

**RACHEL:** Fuck you!

_RACHEL throws her guitar after him, but it misses and smashes against the floor. MAGGIE approaches her._

**MAGGIE:** Rach-

_MAGGIE puts her hand on Rachel’s back. RACHEL stands still for a moment, then breaks down, turning towards Maggie. MAGGIE puts her arms around her, stroking her hair._

**MAGGIE:** Shhh, it’s alright.

 **RACHEL:** No, Maggie, it fucking isn’t.

 **MAGGIE:** I know. I know. I know.

_Lights down._

_Enter FRANK. The stage is bare except for the stereo in the centre, illuminated by a spotlight. FRANK approaches the stereo, and presses the fast forward button. The sound of a tape being wound forwards, amplified. FRANK exits._

_Lights down._

**ACT III**

_The COSMIC DANCERS are lounging in a hotel suite surrounded by drugs and bottles of various types of alcohol. RICHARD and MICK are holding miniature guitars while PAUL holds a pair of drumsticks and DAVID holds a stylophone. CYNTHIA is half sitting in RICHARD’s lap. A muted TV displays a grainy recording of a female singer performing in typically masculine clothing. Throughout the scene, the COSMIC DANCERS play sections of their instrumentals from “Lady Stardust”._

**RICHARD:** ( _clearly drunk and high_ ) People stared at the makeup on his face –

 **DAVID:** Yeah, ‘cause it looks like shit. Your fucking lipstick’s on your fucking chin. 

**RICHARD:** Piss off.

 **DAVID:** ( _to Cynthia_ ) Bet that was you, wasn’t it?

 **MICK:** Fuck off, Dave, leave her alone.

 **DAVID:** Someone’s a fucking gentleman tonight. 

**RICHARD:** Makes a fucking change.

 **PAUL:** Bet he’s jealous.

 **MICK:** Fuck you. I bet you, seriously, I’ll fucking bet our next cheque on it, I bet he don’t even remember her fucking name.

 **RICHARD:** It’s Lady Stardust.

 **MICK:** Told you.

 **CYNTIA:** It’s Cynthia.

 **RICHARD:** I know that, I’m only winding him up, Cynth.

 **DAVID:** “Cynth”?

 **RICHARD:** She’s my woman of gold.

 **MICK:** She’s not very old.

 **CYNTHIA:** I’m old enough.

 **RICHARD:** There, she’s old enough.

 **MICK:** For what?

 **RICHARD:** Fuck off.

 **DAVID:** Richard, who’s this?

 **RICHARD:** Who?

 **DAVID:** On the telly.

 **RICHARD:** Who fucking knows, who fucking cares. Pass that bottle.

 **MICK:** Look at her, though, in her fucking man skin pants. / What a fucking rip-off. 

**RICHARD:** Man skin pants? / They’re called fucking trousers.

 **PAUL:** Who’s she ripping off, then?

 **MICK:** Us, you idiot.

 **RICHARD:** No she isn’t, she’s shit.

 **MICK:** Yeah, but that’s our thing, isn’t it, dressing up and that.

 **RICHARD:** So fucking what, we don’t even know her fucking name.

 **PAUL:** I don’t think you know any women’s names.

 **RICHARD:** Queen Elizabeth.

 **MICK:** I think she’s a rip-off.

 **PAUL:** Queen Elizabeth?

 **MICK:** No, you stupid fuck.

 **DAVID:** She is though, ain’t she, going around in her fucking crown like she owns the place.

 **PAUL:** She does own the place.

 **MICK:** We own the place.

 **RICHARD:** Who gives a fuck about the fucking queen? Fuck, you’re all pissing me off now.

 **MICK:** Fuck off, then.

 **RICHARD:** Maybe I fucking will.

 **MICK:** Good.

 **RICHARD:** Fine.

_RICHARD stands up, swaying on his feet._

( _to Cynthia_ ) You coming?

_CYNTHIA laughs shyly, then nods and stands up. RICHARD puts his arm around her._

**MICK:** Richard.

 **RICHARD:** What?

 **MICK:** Not very old.

 **RICHARD:** Why don’t you go and fuck yourself, Mick fucking Nebula.

_RICHARD and CYNTHIA leave, laughing. Lights down._

_Lights up. The COSMIC DANCERS are rehearsing in their studio._

**RICHARD:**

People stared at the makeup on his face

Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang his songs-

_MICK stops playing. PAUL, DAVID and RICHARD stop playing a few seconds later._

**RICHARD:** What the fuck’s wrong with you?

 **MICK:** What the fuck’s wrong with me? What the fuck’s wrong with _you_ , all of you? Why are you all acting like everything’s the same as normal?

 **PAUL:** What are you on about?

 **MICK:** You know what I’m fucking on about, I’m on about him.

 **RICHARD:** Me?

 **MICK:** Yes, you, unless the rest of you have all been fucking little girls as well.

 **RICHARD:** She wasn’t a little girl, fucking hell.

 **MICK:** She was-

 **RICHARD:** Fifteen.

 **MICK:** Exactly, fifteen.

 **RICHARD:** What do you mean “exactly”, so fucking what?

 **MICK:** So it’s against the fucking law.

 **RICHARD:** Yeah, and? Heroin’s against the fucking law last time I checked but you didn’t seem to have a problem with-

 **MICK:** Heroin doesn’t have a mummy and daddy who are gonna take us to court, does it?

 **PAUL:** Alright, why don’t you just relax? Nothing’s gonna come of it, is it?

 **MICK:** I’m sorry, are you a fucking lawyer? Last I heard you left school when you were twelve or some shit.

 **PAUL:** Thirteen.

 **MICK:** Well, God, in that case you must be a fucking professional, thank God you’re here, what would we do without our resident fucking law expert?

 **PAUL:** I do know some shit, you know.

 **MICK:** Yeah? Like what?

 **PAUL:** Like people like us don’t go to jail.

 **MICK:** “People like us”? Jesus Christ, what fucking fantasy world are you living in, Paul? We’re not fucking superheroes, are we?

 **RICHARD:** Close as.

 **MICK:** You can shut the fuck up, I don’t want to hear your fucking voice.

 **RICHARD:** You’re the fucking only one, then.

 **MICK:** I mean it, I’ll fucking-

 **DAVID:** Oh for fuck’s sake, what good’s you biting his fucking head off gonna do?

 **MICK:** Go on then, let’s hear your fucking solution.

 **DAVID:** I think Paul’s right.

 **MICK:** Are you fucking serious?

 **DAVID:** When have you ever heard of a rock star going to jail? Never, it never fucking happens.

 **MICK:** You know what, I don’t give a fuck if he goes to jail, he can fucking rot for all I care, but-

 **PAUL:** Fucking hell, Mick, he’s our fucking friend.

 **MICK:** He might be your friend, he’s not mine.

 **DAVID:** Why are you so obsessed with that groupie, anyway?

 **MICK:** It’s not about the groupie, is it? It’s about us, it’s about what people are gonna say about us. You know what, a year ago we were nothing, we were fucking nobodies. Now we’re somebodies, now we can’t go to the fucking pub without someone asking us to sign their fucking tits. Isn’t that what you want? Richard, isn’t that what you fucking want? It’s what we fucking live for, all of us. You think that’s all fucking guaranteed? You’re fucking delusional, all of you. It can go like that. I mean who gives a fuck about the fucking Beatles anymore? Nobody, and that’s not even because they got themselves into anything, people just don’t give a shit about that sixties crap. You think our tickets are still gonna be selling out in two minutes in fucking 1980? No fucking way. This is our fucking time, and if you keep pulling shit like this we’re not gonna be selling any fucking tickets by fucking-

 **PAUL:** Alright, Mick.

 **MICK:** It’s not fucking alright, though, is it?

 **PAUL:** I’m just saying, you need to calm down. We’ll never play again if you give yourself a fucking heart attack.

 **RICHARD:** Anyway, could be worse, couldn’t it.

 **MICK:** How, Richard, how the fuck could it be fucking worse? I mean if you’d fucking killed her, yeah, that would be worse. What’s the fucking point in saying what could’ve been worse when you’ve already got us into enough shit as it is?

 **RICHARD:** Yeah, well, at least it was a bird. The cops would fucking have me if I was a poof.

_Lights down._

_Enter FRANK. The stage is bare except for the stereo in the centre, illuminated by a spotlight. FRANK approaches the stereo, and presses the rewind button. The sound of a tape being rewound, amplified. FRANK exits._

_Lights down._

**ACT IV**

_A hotel room. Lights up, but still dimmed, as RICHARD and STEVEN undress one another down to their underwear. Lights down._

_Lights up. RICHARD and STEVEN are sitting up in bed, shirtless, the duvet up to their waists. STEVEN is resting his head on Richard’s shoulder. RICHARD is playing “Lady Stardust” on his guitar. As he sings he looks at Steven’s hair, which is long and dyed black and clearly styled after Richard’s, and his smudged makeup._

**RICHARD:**

People stared at the makeup on his face

Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage-

_STEVEN leans across and kisses RICHARD, cutting him off. RICHARD smiles as he pulls away._

**STEVEN:** Richard?

 **RICHARD:** Yeah?

 **STEVEN:** I love you.

_RICHARD laughs._

**RICHARD:** No, you don’t.

 **STEVEN:** I do.

 **RICHARD:** You fucking don’t. You think you do because you think you know me but you don’t.

 **STEVEN:** It’s not just that.                                          

 **RICHARD:** What is it, then?

 **STEVEN:** It’s that you’re queer and that.

 **RICHARD:** Yeah, well, lots of blokes are queer.

 **STEVEN:** Yeah, but most of them aren’t on Top of the Pops.

 **RICHARD:** Oh, right. You’re one of them star seekers, are you?

 **STEVEN:** No, it ain’t like that. It’s like, when I see you on telly and listen to your records you’re like this alien, not just the look, you know, it’s like, you can’t be real, you’re too confident and that, but then I go and see you and it’s like you come and be real for us. You make it seem like it’s alright, you know? Dressing up and singing about it and getting all those people up and dancing and that.

 **RICHARD:** Yeah, well, it is alright.

 **STEVEN:** No, it ain’t. Not in my house it ain’t.

 **RICHARD:** Do your parents know?

 **STEVEN:** About me? Yeah. I thought they’d be alright with it after the law changed and that ‘cause they didn’t seem to care when they were talking about it on the radio but it’s different when it’s other people, isn’t it? They didn’t think their own son was like that. My mama cried when I told them. My papa said he was gonna hit me but he didn’t. I don’t care anyway. I brought a bloke home once. We didn’t do anything or nothing, I didn’t even like him that much, I just wanted them to know I don’t care what they think. Still, it’s nice seeing you on the telly and how much people love you and all of that. It’s lonely sometimes, ain’t it?

 **RICHARD:** It is, yeah.

 **STEVEN:** Didn’t think I’d ever end up here with you though.

 **RICHARD:** I dunno why. You’re pretty, you know. Really fucking pretty.

_STEVEN smiles, then leans over and kisses Richard again. RICHARD puts his guitar on the floor and kisses him back. RICHARD pulls away after a moment and laughs. STEVEN laughs too. RICHARD looks at the clock._

**RICHARD:** Fucking hell, you’ve kept me up all night.

 **STEVEN:** What’s the time?

 **RICHARD:** Nearly seven.

_STEVEN sits up._

**STEVEN:** What? Seven, are you serious? Fuck.

_STEVEN moves away from Richard and leans over the side of the bed, picking up his clothes and pulling them on._

**RICHARD:** What’s the matter? Where you off to?

 **STEVEN:** I’m sorry, I have to go, I’ve gotta be at work in half an hour.

 **RICHARD:** Just don’t bother.

 **STEVEN:** I have to.

 **RICHARD:** Why?

 **STEVEN:** ‘Cause I work in fucking Tesco. It’s not like being a rock star, you know, I can’t just not turn up, they’ll fucking fire me.

 **RICHARD:** Say you’re sick or something.

 **STEVEN:** I can’t.

 **RICHARD:** Why?

 **STEVEN:** I can’t afford to just not go to work when I don’t feel like it.

 **RICHARD:** I’ll give you something.

 **STEVEN:** Don’t be stupid. They wouldn’t believe me, anyway, they knew I was going to see you last night. They’ll think I’m just hungover.

_STEVEN laughs._

They’d never believe me if I told them the truth.

_STEVEN looks at Richard for a moment. He really does love him. He kneels on the bed, leans over and kisses him one last time, gently, holding his head in his hand and stroking his cheek with his thumb. When he pulls away he has tears in his eyes._

**RICHARD:** Listen, it was nice to meet you.

 **STEVEN:** Yeah, you too.

_STEVEN reluctantly turns to leave. RICHARD calls after him just before he reaches the edge of the stage._

**RICHARD:** Steven?

_STEVEN turns around._

**STEVEN:** Yeah?

 **RICHARD:** Don’t tell your papa or he’ll-

 **STEVEN:** Yeah, I know.

_STEVEN exits. Lights down. The piano intro to “Lady Stardust” begins to play from offstage. RICHARD jumps up, gets dressed and picks up his guitar again while the stage is redressed around him as a concert set. Paul’s drumkit and David’s piano are brought on and the COSMIC DANCERS reform onstage, DAVID playing his piano as it’s moved onto the stage._

_Lights up: spotlights on PAUL and DAVID, brighter spotlights on RICHARD and MICK. FANS run onstage and surround them, screaming and cheering. RICHARD, MICK and PAUL join David in performing “Lady Stardust”._

**RICHARD:**

People stared at the makeup on his face

Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang his songs

Of darkness and disgrace

And he was alright, the band was altogether

Yes he was alright, the song went on forever

And he was awful nice

Really quite out of sight 

And he sang all night long

_The music changes, transitioning into “Velvet Goldmine”._

**RICHARD:**

Velvet goldmine, you stroke me like the rain

Snake it, take it, panther princess you must stay

Velvet goldmine, naked on your chain

I'll be your king volcano right for you again and again

My velvet goldmine

_MICK, DAVID and PAUL continue to play while RICHARD approaches MICK, who turns to face him. RICHARD slowly drops to his knees, then runs his hands from Mick’s calves up to his thighs and puts his mouth over the neck pickup of Mick’s bass._

_The crowd goes wild. Fans (predominantly young men) begin to invade the stage. Enter four SECURITY GUARDS who aggressively herd them and the rest of the fans away._

_The spotlights go from white to flashing red and blue. A siren wails from offstage. MICK, DAVID and PAUL stop playing. RICHARD stands up as four POLICE OFFICERS run onto the stage. A POLICE OFFICER (1) makes a beeline for Richard, grabs his arms, pulls them behind his back and handcuffs him._

**MICK:** What the fuck are you doing?

 **POLICE OFFICER (1):** Shut it, unless you want to go with him.

 **MICK:** Go with him where? What the fuck’s going on?

_MICK tries to pull the POLICE OFFICER (1) away from RICHARD. Another POLICE OFFICER (2) grabs him and handcuffs him as well._

**MICK:** Get your fucking hands off me!

 **POLICE OFFICER (2):** Shut your fucking mouth.

_DAVID and PAUL abandon their instruments and go over to try to help, but they are grabbed by the remaining two police officers. The POLICE OFFICERS exit, taking RICHARD, MICK, DAVID and PAUL with them as they unsuccessfully struggle to resist them. Lights down._

_Lights up. The COSMIC DANCERS are rehearsing “Lady Stardust” in their studio. The mood is dour. RICHARD sings quietly and unenthusiastically._

**RICHARD:**

People stared at the makeup on his face

Laughed at his long black hair, his animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang his songs

Of darkness and disgrace

And he was alright, the band was altogether

Yes he was alright, the song went on forever

And he was awful nice

Really quite out of sight 

And he sang all night long

Femme fatales emerged from shadows

To watch this creature fair

Boys stood upon their chairs

To make their point of view

I smiled sadly for a love I could not obey-

_RICHARD stops playing and covers his mouth with his hand, stifling a sob. MICK, DAVID and PAUL stop playing. MICK goes to Richard and puts his hand on his back._

**MICK:** It’s alright.                                                                                    

 **RICHARD:** No it isn’t, Mick. It isn’t fucking alright. They’re charging me as a fucking sex offender, how is that fucking alright?

 **PAUL:** They let you go, though. They’re not gonna lock you up or nothing.

 **RICHARD:** That’s not the fucking point, is it? Have you seen the fucking Sun this morning?

_RICHARD crosses the stage to where his guitar case is resting against the wall, takes out a copy of The Sun and holds it up. The front page is almost entirely taken up with a photo of Richard with his mouth to Mick’s bass with the headline “COSMIC DANGERS”._

**RICHARD:** They’re calling for a boycott, telling parents to lock up their sons, they’re gonna hold a public burning of our fucking records. We’re fucking done for.

 **DAVID:** Course we’re not done for. No offence, Rich, but it’s not like people didn’t already know you were queer.

 **RICHARD:** It’s not the fucking same though, is it? I’m a fucking criminal now, Dave.

 **MICK:** Don’t matter. People fucking love us, Rich, you know that, you’ve fucking seen it, we’re still gonna-

 **RICHARD:** You don’t fucking get it, do you? It’s not like I’ve been done for drugs, Mick, they’re calling me a fucking paedophile. Jesus, he was twenty, he was only three years younger than me, my fucking parents got married when they were younger than him, I’m not-

_RICHARD breaks down. MICK rubs his back._

**PAUL:** It’ll sort itself out, Rich.

 **RICHARD:** No, Paul, it fucking won’t. I’m done.

 **DAVID:** What?

 **MICK:** Done? What do you mean, done?

 **RICHARD:** Done with the band, done with music.

 **PAUL:** But you love music.

 **RICHARD:** I used to. I fucking used to. Not anymore.

 **MICK:** What about us?

 **RICHARD:** Don’t say that, Mick. Don’t fucking do that to me. I feel shit enough without you making me feel guilty too. You don’t understand, alright? You fucking don’t. I can’t get up on that stage knowing what people are thinking about me, what they’re gonna say about me, what they’re gonna print about me. I can’t do it to myself and I can’t do it to all those kids who think I fucking speak for them. What d’you think it’s gonna do to them, Mick? How can I say to them “oh, no, love, you’re not alone, I’ve had my share, I’ll help you with the pain, you’re wonderful” when I’ve got a criminal fucking record? Rock stars are meant to be fucking invincible, what does it fucking say to them if even I can’t go to bed with a fucking adult without the fucking cops descending? You know the press won’t stop fucking slating me as long as I keep singing so what’s the fucking point in dragging it out? I can’t fucking do it. Don’t ask me to keep going. I can’t, alright? I fucking can’t. I’m done.

_RICHARD takes his guitar off, throws it on the floor and exits. PAUL gets up to go after him._

**MICK:** Leave it, Paul. Let him go.

_Lights down._

_Enter FRANK. The stage is bare except for the stereo in the centre, illuminated by a spotlight. FRANK approaches the stereo, and presses the fast forward button. The sound of a tape being wound forwards, amplified. FRANK exits._

_Lights down._

**ACT V**

_Lights up MICK, DAVID and PAUL are rehearsing “Lady Stardust” in their studio. DAVID “sings” the guitar parts while MICK sings. PAUL laughs._

**MICK:**

People stared at the makeup

Laughed at his long black hair

His animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang his songs-

_RICHARD enters._

**RICHARD:** What the fuck’s going on? What are you doing? Have you fucking started without me? Without _me_?

 **MICK:** Fucking hell, Rich, we’re just rehearsing, keep your fucking hair on.

 **RICHARD:** Just rehearsing? I was in fucking court and you were “just rehearsing”? I got off, by the way, thanks a lot for fucking asking.

 **PAUL:** I was gonna ask.

 **RICHARD:** Of course you fucking were, you’re always kissing my fucking arse.

 **MICK:** Jesus fucking Christ, Richard, it was just a fucking-

 **RICHARD:** No, no, sorry, what are we fucking called, again? Because last I checked, we were called the Cosmic Dancers, not the fucking Nebulous Dancers.

 **DAVID:** Good one.

 **RICHARD:** It’s not a fucking joke, David. You know what is a fucking joke? You lot. D’you think I need you lot? D’you think people come to see you playing your little piano and Paul banging his little drums? You must be fucking joking. Even Mick isn’t-

 **MICK:** Oh, shut up, yeah? Shut the fuck up. You know, it used to be funny, seeing you fucking making love to your ego in a ten page spread in the NME, but it’s just boring now. It’s fucking boring. You need to get off your fucking high horse or-

 **RICHARD:** Or what? Or you’ll fuck off? You’ll all start a new band without me? You know what, be my fucking guest. See how far you get without me. You’re fucking nothing without me. I don’t fucking need you anyway.

 **MICK:** What, you’re gonna carry on as a one-man band are you? Good fucking luck with that.

 **RICHARD:** I could get anyone to play with me, absolutely fucking anyone. Edward fucking Heath would learn to play the bass just to play with me if I asked him to. You think you’re so special, you think you’re a fucking star. Well guess what, Mick? You’re fucking not. You’re all fucking replaceable. You’re just my fucking support band. Everybody knows it’s the fucking Richard Cosmos show, even Frank knows it, he’s just too fucking scared to tell you that the two of us would sell more fucking records if I told you lot to fuck off and brought in people who can actually play.

 **MICK:** You know what, maybe we will start a fucking band without you. What do you say to that, Dave? Paul?

 **PAUL:** Mick-

 **MICK:** What? You heard him, Paul, he doesn’t need us. We don’t fucking need him either.

 **RICHARD:** Keep telling yourself that.

 **MICK:** Oh, fuck you, Richard. Fuck. You.

 **RICHARD:** In your fucking dreams.                                  

_RICHARD exits. MICK walks after him just so he can shout:_

**MICK:** Go to hell, Richard.

_Lights down._

_A concert. Spotlight on sequined curtains hanging behind the stage, emblazoned with the words:_

  
**NO DEATH FOR THE PERFECT MEN**

CELEBRATING 45 YEARS SINCE THE BIRTH OF GLAM

_RICHARD is on stage with his new BASSIST, PIANIST and DRUMMER. Throughout an extended piano intro to “Lady Stardust”, the following excerpts from real interviews are played over speakers:_

**QUENTIN CRISP:** There’s no sin like being a woman. When a man dresses as a woman, the audience laughs. When a woman dresses as a man, nobody laughs. They just thought she looked wonderful.

-

 **SIMON CRITCHLEY:** The big shift is from the late sixties to the early seventies when Bowie becomes famous overnight. July 6th 1972 he’s on Top of the Pops, does Starman, and a quarter of the British population watch that show, and then suddenly he’s a star, this androgynous, strange character appears…

Bowie offered a kind of impossible glamour and strangeness and sexual weirdness and attraction and it offered some… something else, a kind of alien presence that took you somewhere else, there was somewhere apart from here that felt good…

Bowie never stopped being cool. Everybody else stopped being cool, the Beatles, the Stones, all those, you know, monstrous progressive rock bands, but Bowie never stopped being cool and became a script for us for how we inhabited this kind of decaying, faded world that we kind of, you know, we found ourselves within and we wanted to creatively destroy. So Bowie was, um… yeah, Bowie was a way of giving voice to a disappointment, very much so.

-

 **JONATHAN ROSS:** Do you mind talking about your sexuality?

 **DAVID BOWIE:** Sorry, why?

 **JONATHAN ROSS:** ‘Cause what was the deal there? You were gay for a while, and then you were not gay-

 **DAVID BOWIE:** No, I was just happy.

 **JONATHAN ROSS:** But you were – were you bisexual, were you pansexual, were you trisexual, were you… Because I thought being gay was a bit like the Foreign Legion, once you joined I didn’t think you were allowed back!

 **DAVID BOWIE:** I was just very, you know, I got my leg over a lot.

 **JONATHAN ROSS:** Did you have relationships with these people as well, or was it mainly, just-

 **DAVID BOWIE:** Not if I could help it. I was incredibly promiscuous!

 **JONATHAN ROSS:** I bet you were!

 **DAVID BOWIE:** And I think we’ll leave it at that.

-

 **JOAN JETT:** We saw a lot of the reviews and the interviews, and people always cutting us down, and ‘jailbait’ is a light word… Think the meanest thing you could possibly call a girl, the most degrading thing you could call her, then think a hundred times worse. And that’s the way The Runaways were treated. One instance that was typical of a lot of things that would happen – this guy walked in, and he just says to us “Okay, I hear you guys are sluts. Is that true?” And it was like getting hit…

_Lights up: spotlight on RICHARD, now in his sixties, standing in the middle of the stage, surrounded by FANS, dressed as he did in the seventies. As he performs, glitter falls from the ceiling – by the end of the song, the stage and the band are completely covered._

**RICHARD:**

People stared at the makeup on my face

Laughed at my long grey hair, my animal grace

The boy in the bright blue jeans

Jumped up on the stage

And Lady Stardust sang my songs

Of darkness and disgrace

But I am alright without that band together

Yes I am alright, the song goes on forever

And I am awful nice

Really quite out of sight 

And I’ll sing all night long

Femme fatales emerged from shadows

To watch this creature fair

Boys stood upon their chairs

To make their point of view

I smiled gladly for a love I could obey

Lady Stardust sang my songs

Of darkness and dismay

But I am alright without that band together

Yes I am alright, the song goes on forever

And I am awful nice

Really quite paradise 

And I’ll sing all night long

Oh how I laughed

When they asked if you knew my name

Oh I am alright without that band together

Yes I am alright, the song goes on forever

And I’m so awful nice

Really quite paradise 

I’ll sing all night long

_Wild applause from the audience. RICHARD laughs and bows, then walks along the front of the stage, briefly holding fans’ hands. He goes back to the middle of the stage and throws his pick into the audience, then blows a series of kisses, and exits, still laughing, followed by his BAND, while the applause continues. Full lights up. Applause fades. RACHEL, MAGGIE, DEBBIE, PATTIE, CYNTHIA, STEVEN and “gay RICHARD” (from ACT IV) enter with brooms and begin sweeping the glitter to the edges of the stage._

_Lights down._

**Author's Note:**

> SONG REFERENCES
> 
> David Bowie  
> • “The Supermen” from The Man Who Sold The World, Mercury Records, 1970  
> • “The Man Who Sold The World” from The Man Who Sold The World, Mercury Records, 1970  
> • “Quicksand” from Hunky Dory, RCA Records, 1971  
> • “Queen Bitch” from Hunky Dory, RCA Records, 1971  
> • “Lady Stardust” from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, RCA Records, 1972  
> • “Moonage Daydream” from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, RCA Records, 1972  
> • “Starman” from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, RCA Records, 1972  
> • “Rock ‘n’ Roll Suicide” from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, RCA Records, 1972  
> • “Ziggy Stardust” from The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars, RCA Records, 1972  
> • “Velvet Goldmine” (B-side on Space Oddity single), RCA Records, 1975
> 
> T. Rex  
> • “Hot Love” (single), Fly Records, 1971  
> • “Cosmic Dancer” from Electric Warrior, Fly Records, 1971  
> • “Rip Off” from Electric Warrior, Fly Records, 1971  
> • “Girl” from Electric Warrior, Fly Records, 1971


End file.
